Hey Cowboys and Cowgirls!
This is FICTION for entertainment purposes ONLY and is NOT
to be taken seriously as actual practice by any idiot
dumb enough to play with guns.
...from an old desperado in his retirement years and brought
out with several shots of redeye and the promise of fame...
"Well, these ain't in enny order, jus as I thot of 'um:"
Never shoot nobody in the back...
lessn' they shoot you in the back first.
Allus be ready to: travel light; travel easy;
travel fast; keep travelin.
Try to pass up a gunfight if yuh kin, cauz a faster
gun is out there, just waitin fer yuh.
Don't kill nobody yuh don't have to. Try to scare em fust.
If yuh have time, try to git the fust shot off.
It could rattle yer target and yuh might hit em by accident.
If yer fust shot misses, yuh better move afore yuh
try that second shot.
When yuh move after a bad fust shot, try to move toward
the side of the paw holdin the gun. Watch out for lefties
and crossdraws.
Try to git the sun at yer back, specially after noon.
This is the only movin thing yuh want at yer back.
Don't face a scattergun if yuh kin pass on it. Back down
if yuh have to, or git yerself the same.
Git as close as yuh kin, but not too close. Two rifle lengths
is good. One rifle shot ain't.
Yer trigger pull should be smooth and easy, but a hair trigger
kin git yuh hurt or kilt.
Practice til yer money is almost gone, then practice some more.
Practice reloadin as well as shootin.
Pray yuh git kilt, not gut shot or in yer gun hand.
Don't watch his eyes. Watch his gun hand.
Eat good cauz it might be yer last time.
But don't get fat, neither.
Don't get mad. Bein riled up spoils yer aim.
Don't bet on yer hoss standin still while yuh aim.
Take care of yer gun and it'll take care of yuh.
Fast is good, but hittin what yuh shoot at is better.
Don't do nothin fancy with yer gun.
No hammer fannin er such.
Don't never shoot no wimmin nor kids.
Yuh can't win on thet, noways.
If you don't git kilt, sooner or later you'll shoot the wrong
person. Jus' hope to God it ain't nobody important.
Leave a dollar or two in yer boot for the buryin.
I allus' tried to follow the
Cowboy Commandments iffn I could... 'cept thet part 'bout drinkin'.
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