New lies are collected at the bottom and most likely haven't been alpha sorted yet.
(Hmmm! Or is this the first item on the list...?)

A little grease and it will work like new!
A little paint and it will be like new!
A little soap and water and it will be like new!
A lot of us around here don't think so!
A lot of us around here think it's wrong!
A lot of us around here think it's okay!
A lot of us around here think so!
Ain't no big deal, bruddah!
Anybody with half a brain knows that!
Any idiot could do that!
Any dummy could tell you that!
Any expert can tell you that's TRUE!
Any expert can tell you that's FALSE!
Breathe somewhere else while I smoke!
I won't breathe a word! You can tell me!
..but we can still be good friends.
But officer, I only had one beer!
But officer, I only had two beers!
Can you actually prove any of that?
••In Latin: Potesne vere ullam partem probare?
Can't I just come in for a cup of coffee?
Can't you just come in for a cup of coffee?
Conditions weren't conducive to...
Dear (fill in name here)...
That's fascinating, do tell me more!
Does a bear shit in the woods?
••In Latin: Cacatne ursus in sylvis?
Does it make a big difference how you do it?
Does the Pope wear a yarmulke?
Does the Pope speak Latin?
••In Latin: Loquiturne pontifex maximus Latine?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
••In Latin: Noli aliquid facere quod non faciam!
Don't dress up for this! It's not formal!
Don't make me laugh!
••In Latin: Ne feceris ut rideam!
Don't sweat the small stuff!
Don't worry! Be happy!
Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.
Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on EMPTY.
Don't worry, I'm trained for this.
Don't worry, I'm a trained professional.
Drinking? Why, no, officer!
Everybody does it!
Everyone is enthusiastic about your work!
Five pounds is nothing on a person your height!
Gee, that's a great story!
Go down to where Stiffler's farm used to be...
Go down to where the big tree used to be...
Good thing you came in today! We only have two more!
People like you are a dime a dozen!
Dames like you are a dime a dozen!
Guys like you are a dime a dozen!
••In Latin: Capita similia tui aestimantur unius assis!
Have a nice day!
Have I ever lied to you before?
Have I ever given you a bum steer?             
Have you lost weight?
He doesn't know what he's talking about!
He doesn't look so tough to me.
She doesn't know what she's talking about!
He means nothing to me.
She means nothing to me.
He won't be any trouble at all! I promise!
She won't be any trouble at all! I promise!
He would never do that!
She would never do that!
He'll grow into it!
She'll grow into it!
He'll grow into them!
She'll grow into them!
How could I know this was different?
How should I know this was different?
How would I know this was different?
How truly fascinating!
••In Latin: Tua verba animum meum tenent!
I am getting a divorce.
I am too honest for this job!
I am too honest for this task!
I am too honest for this position!
I am too honest for this business!
I buy it for the interviews!
I can eat anything and it doesn't bother me.
I can fix that for you in a jiffy!
I can get it for you wholesale!
I can tread water indefinitely!
I could have sworn that was on backorder!
I could have sworn we had more of those!
I could have sworn it was the right thing to do!
I could have sworn he told me it was okay!
I could have sworn he said that!
I could never do anything like that!
I would never do anything like that!
I would never have guessed you made it yourself!
I could NOT do that!
I would NOT do that!
Honestly, I didn't do it!
I delegated that to someone else, so...
I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done!
I didn't do it!
I didn't know I was supposed to do that!
I didn't know you wanted it to be perfect!
I didn't know you were in a hurry for it!
I didn't mean it that way!
I didn't think it was important!
I didn't think you meant it!
I didn't think you would want that, so...
I distinctly remember doing that, so...
I don't have the authority to permit that, so...
I don't hear any noise...
I don't know what you are talking about!
••In Latin: Nescio de quo loqueris!
I don't remember, so...
I don't remember that at all, so...
I don't remember it that way, so...
I don't recollect, so...
I don't think it matters that much...
I don't think it's that serious, so...
I don't want to say anything bad about him, but...
I don't want to say anything bad about her, but...
I drove a long way to get here, so...
I drove all night to get here, so...
I forgot to do it, so sue me!
I gave at the office.
I got this from a reliable source, so...
I guarantee that, so...
I guess that just fell through the cracks, so...
I had a grand time!
••In Latin: Me valde oblectavi!
I had a headache, so...
I have a headache, so...
I have a medical problem, so...
I have full authority to do this!             
I have nothing to gain from this!
I have other things to do, so...
I hear what you're saying!
I just want to look at it!
I see where you're coming from!
I knew that!
I knew that, but didn't think it was important...
I know a short cut!
I know it's around here somewhere!
I know people who don't work half as hard as I do!
I know what I'm doing!
I know what I'm talking about!
I know what you mean!
I know where you're coming from!
I know you'll fit in here!
I live far away and have to commute, so...
I never...
I never inhaled.
I never watch television except for PBS.
I always...
I only want to help you, so...
I promise I won't get mad...now tell me!
I promise you that....
I promise you I'll pay you back on pay day!
I promise you I'll pay you back out of my next pay check!
I promise you I will...
I promise you I won't...
I see what you're saying!
I see what you mean.
I meant that as a joke, so...
I meant that in a spirit of Christian love, so...
I meant that in a clean and Christian way.
I shall always cherish the memory of this very, very special occasion!
••In Latin: Semper redibo laetus hunc diem praecipuum in memoriam!
I tell you I'm innocent!
I thought everyone knew that!
I thought I told you!
I told him to do that!
I told her to do that!
I told you that before!
I clearly remember saying it!
I tried to call you, but you weren't there!
I was in a bad mental state, so...
I was in a big rush, so...
I was in a hurry, so...
I was just joking!
I was just kidding!
I was under a great deal of stress, so...
I was under a great deal of anxiety, so...
I was under a great deal of pressure, so...
I was up all night with a sick friend, so...
I was up all night with a sick gerbil, so...
I was up all night with a sick dog, so...
I was up all night with a sick cat, so...
I was up all night with a sick alien, so...
I wasn't feeling well at the time, so...
I wasn't hired to do that!
I won't break it!
I won't let you down!
I won't lose any sleep over it!
I won't move from this spot!
I won't put it in all the way!
I won't touch it!
I'd never do that to you!
I'd never try that on you!
I'll back you up on this!
I'll have a brand new one for you on Monday!
I'll have it fixed in a jiffy!
I'll have it for you next time!
I'll keep your resume on file!
I'll keep your letter on file!
I'll keep your request on file!
I'll pay you next week...honest!
I'll pay you on friday!
I'll pay you on payday.
I'll respect you in the morning.
I'll take care of it!
I'll take care of you!
I'm a high school graduate...
I'm from the government and I'm here to help you!
I'm having an identity crisis.
I'm just not lucky
I'm losing money on this deal!
••In Latin: Hoc pacto, pecuniam amitto!
I'm not going to waste my time doing that!
I'm not going to waste my time on that!
I'm not just whistling "Dixie" !
••In Latin: Non modo sibilo "Terram Dixonis" !
I'm not paid to have an opinion!
I'm not paid to have an opinion on that!
I'm so glad you dropped by! No, I'm not busy!
I'm really a good person at heart, but...
I'm so busy I just didn't get around to it!
I'm sorry that you misunderstood me...
I'm waiting for an okay!
I've always believed that...
I've done this before!
I've never...
I've never been here before!
I've never done this before!
I've never heard that one before!
I've never seen that person before!
If I hadn't done it, someone else would have!
••In Latin: Si id non fecissem , aliquis id fecisset!
If we do that for you, then we have to do it for everyone!
If you show me yours, I'll show you mine!
In order to serve you better...             
In time you will forget all this!
Is this your idea of a joke?
••In Latin: Hocini tibi haveas iocum?
It didn't happen!
It wasn't there before!
It won't happen!
It can't happen!
It can't be wrong if everyone is doing it!
It happens all the time!
It isn't wrong if everyone does it!
Everyone does it!
It seemed like a good idea at the time!
It takes a while to learn the ropes!
It was good enough for my grandpa, so it's good enough for me!
It was just bad karma all around!
It was only a joke.
It was only a little bit off.
It will be easy!
It will be easy to fix later!
It will be ready no later than this Friday.
It will be available within the month.
It won't cost very much!
It won't hurt!
It won't hurt much!
It won't make any difference.
It won't need repairs!
It won't take but a minute!
It would help if you would kiss it...
It's a free country!
It's great to see you!
It's great to be back!
It's guaranteed to be as advertised or your money back!
It's just what I wanted!
••In Latin: Est admodum quod volui!
It's just not my karma.
It's just a small spot. No one will notice!
It's not in the rule book so we can't do it!
It's not my bag!
It's not my fault!
It's not my job!
It's not my responsibility!
It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.
It's okay, he doesn't bite!
It's only a few dollars!
It's only money!
It's the RIGHT THING TO DO!
It's worth it!
Just come as you are! Everyone else is!
Just do it!
Just let me hold it a second!
Just once can't hurt!
Let's do dinner!
Let's do lunch!
Let's not be strangers!
••In Latin: Non simus inter nos advenas!
Let's wait 'til the boss comes back and ask him!
Look out, he bites!
Look what I can do!
Love me, love my dog!
Money is no problem!
Money is not important!
My biorhythm was off, so...
My boss will kill me when he finds out!
••In Latin: Praefectus me e medio tollet quando cognoverit!
My dog ate my homework!
My husband doesn't understand me.
My wife doesn't understand me.
My significant other doesn't understand me.
My roommate doesn't understand me.
No one understands me.
My mind always goes blank under stress!
My opponent in this race is a crook!
My smoking hurts no one but me!
My supervisor is not available to talk with you!
My word is my bond!
No one told me to go ahead!
No one will care!             
No one will notice!
No one will know!
No one will find out!
No problem, pal!
No, that outfit does NOT make you look fat!
Of course I love you.
Of course I'll respect you tomorrow!
Of course I'm listening!
Of course I'm paying attention!
On my mother's grave...
Put it where the sun don't shine!
••In Latin: Pone ubi sol non lucet!
Read it and weep!
••In Latin: Lege et lacrima!
He has a really nice personality
She has a really nice personality
So what's it to you anyway?
••In Latin: Num curae est tibi?
Sorry about that, chief!
Sorry dear, not tonight, I have a headache.
••In Latin: Illius me paenitet, dux!
Take the first left after the light!
Tell you what I'm going to do!
••In Latin: Mihi permitte tibi dicere quod faciam!
That has never happened before!
That is not in my job description!
That is not in my jurisdiction!
That just tickles me pink!
That outfit makes you look thin!
That outfit was made for you!
That's his job, not mine!
That's just a figure of speech!
That's NOT going to be a problem!
That's just not my bag!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
••In Latin: Quae narravi, nullo modo negabo!
That's really out of the question!
That's really impossible!
That's simply devine!
••In Latin: Divinissimum est!
That's simply marvelous!
The devil made me do it!
••In Latin: Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem!
The earth definitely moved!
The power went off so my alarm clock didn't, so...
The river never gets high enough to flood this property!
The river never floods!
The work load was unfairly distributed, so...
There must be a mistake somewhere!
There wasn't enough time!
There wasn't enough time to do it!
There's a check in the mail!
There's a light at the end of the tunnel
There's a silver lining to every dark cloud!
There's no chance that will happen!
There's no way that could happen!
There's obviously been some sort of silly mistake!
••In Latin: Manifesto nescio quis lapsus stultus factus est!
They don't pay me enough to do that!
They'll never know what hit them!
Things may look bad now, but...
Things will look better tomorrow!
This has been thoroughly tested!
This is a rock-bottom price!
••In Latin: Hoc est pretium minimum!
This can't lose!
This can't be the right house!
This can't be the right place!
This is a short cut!
This is a win-win situation!
This is an air-tight contract!
This is delicious! What is it?
This is delicious, but I can't eat another bite!
••In Latin: Iucunde sapit! Quid est?
This is foolproof!
This is my first time!
This is nationally advertised!             
This is not a form letter!
This is the only place where I have problems!
This is written in stone!
This year I am definitely going to...
••In Latin: Hoc anno ego pro certo...
Time is no problem!
To improve service to our clients, the Bank will...
To the best of my recollection...
Trust me!
Trust me, I know how these people think.
Trust me, I'll take care of everything.
Try it! You'll like it!
Was I great, or what?
••In Latin: Nonne fui magnificus?
We can do that later!
We can fix that later!
We can take care of that later!
We can talk about that later...
We can replace it before they know it's gone!
We care!
We have plenty of repair locations!
We haven't lost one yet!
We never do that here!
We never make mistakes!
We stand behind what we sell!
We thought we had more time!
We'll be there!
We'll split the profits 50/50!
We're expecting great things from you!
We're only taking back what is rightfully ours!
We've always done it this way!
We've never actually tried it before!
We've never done it that way before!
We've never had any problems with that model before!
Well, things certainly can't get any worse!
Whatever rings your chimes!
What they don't know won't kill them!
••In Latin: Quod nesciunt eos non interficiet!
Where have you been hiding yourself?
••In Latin: Ubi tete occultabas?
Word!
••In Latin: Verbum!
Yes, I've had a vasectomy!
Nothing to worry about, honey, I've had a vasectomy!
You can buy this at a profit!
You can run, but you can't hide!
••In Latin: Potes currere, sed te occulere non potes!
You can take this to the bank!
You can write your own ticket!
You can't be serious!
You can't even tell it's been damaged!
You can't get hooked on this stuff!
You can't lose on this!
You can't miss it!
You can't teach an old dog new tricks!
You can't win and you can't quit the game!
You didn't tell me I was supposed to do that!
You don't mean that, do you?
You don't look a day over 40! Really!
You go ahead, I'm right behind you!
You look like a million bucks!
You look marvelous!
••In Latin: Quam pulcher/pulchra es!
You must be mad!
••In Latin: Vere furis!
You'll never prove that!
You'll never work in this business again!
You'll never work in this town again!
••In Latin: In hoc oppido nunquam postea operaberis!
You're dead meat!
••In Latin: Caro putrida es!
You're going to feel a little sting!
You're going to thank me for this!
You've got to have this!
You've got to try this!
You've got to buy this!
You've got to believe me!
Your hair looks just fine!
The fat lady has sung!
••In Latin: Obesa cantavit!
I am NOT a bitch!
An intelligent person would realize that!
This may hurt a little.
That didn't hurt... did it?
You may feel a little sting.
Oh, here's your mistake right here...
Didn't we already do this?
Oh yes, we've known that all along...
Just WHO do you think is in charge here?             

Don't try this at home!
Don't worry, it's okay!
It's OK -- I'm sterile!
It's only a cold sore!
I'll call you later.
The doctor will call you right back!
I *LOVE* your new {hat/haircut/dress/suit...}!
I've never done anything like this before.
It's supposed to make that noise!
I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true!
It's a feature, not a bug!
Now, I'm going to tell you the truth...
Oh yeah! That was great!
Read my lips: no new taxes
That nerd will never make it in the real world.
This is only the first installment/book/chapter...
..then take a left. You can't miss it.
We must do this again, soon!
We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year.
Wow! That must hurt!
Yes, I did.
You should have been here yesterday!
You get this one, I'll pay next time.
Tell me all about it.
I'd like to share this with you.
I did it.
I didn't do it.
I can't remember
No, sir, you didn't buy that here!
You don't need it in writing. You have my word!
You have my personal guarantee!
No, the new ownership will not affect you!
No, sir, it will be business as usual!
That's really none of your business!
No, sir, you didn't buy that here!
The puppy will be no trouble at all!
I will take care of him myself!
We don't need a map.
The computer broke down!
We ran out of gas!
I'll do it in a minute!
We don't need no stinkin' badges!
We never had any problems like this with OUR kids!
I know the way like the back of my hand!
I know exactly how to get there!
I know a shortcut!
I'm a social drinker. I can stop any time.
Having a great time! Wish you were here!
This is a very secure building!
Your baby is just beautiful!
Your work is just fantastic!